Storm Area 51 Group To Demand Truth About Aliens. Well, Maybe.

AMARGOSA VALLEY, NV — This should be good: A bunch of people organizing on social media claim they’ll storm Area 51 on Friday, Sept. 20, in a demand for the truth about aliens and UFOs, reasoning “they can’t stop all of us.”

“They,” of course, are military officials and Big Brother. Whatever is going on at the isolated military base in southern Nevada, they’re not saying. But people of a certain mindset think that dried-up wash in the Mojave Desert has for decades held the secrets of aliens, UFOs and all manner of otherworldly stuff. “Entering A Restricted Area,” a foreboding sign reads, with “Use Of Deadly Force Authorized” in smaller letters. If that isn’t a big-red-firetruck-sized hint they are hiding something, what is?

Everyone from the mildly curious to a True Believer is invited to convene at the Area 51 Alien Center in Amargosa Valley on Sept. 20. Be warned: There’s not much there there. It’s a ticky-tacky tourist trap — a combination diner, convenience store and brothel — in the middle of nowhere about 90 miles outside of Las Vegas. Tourists can poke their heads through pop-up boards painted with alien-like figures, buy souvenirs and eat some so-so food, but seeing what little there is to see takes about 30 minutes, tops.

Alien help might be needed to accommodate the 439,000 people who by Friday noon said on the “Storm Area 51” Facebook page that they plan to attend. Another 448,000 said they were interested in going.

This is a joke, right? A reference to a Japanese manga character known for running with his arms stretched out backward and his head forward seems to suggest that the whole thing could be purely for our amusement. “If we Naruto run, we can move faster than their bullets,” the event description says. “Let’s see them aliens.”

Related: UFOs Arrive In The News: Here’s The Most Recent U.S. Sighting

If this gathering is for real, a dizzying number of things could go wrong.

This part of the desert ain’t for sissies. It’s beastly hot right now, and even as temperatures cool to the 90s when the curious gather in September, it’ll still be miserable. The wind is fierce. Come to think about it, some theoretical spaceship could catch a tailwind and sail in there in a nanosecond.

And then there’s this:

Nevada is one of nearly a dozen states where it’s legal to smoke pot, so there’s every chance some visitors will be as high as a kite. As bestselling author and award-winning reporter Mike Sager told Patch readers of his 50 years of smoking weed, cannabis can break down walls, suspend disbelief and open new windows to perception. That sounds about right for Area 51.

Related: Mike Sager On Weed: What I Learned From 50 Years Of Smoking Pot

But it could go the other way, badly. Smoking weed can hopelessly befuddle some people and make others so paranoid they whip out the tinfoil hats. The desert isn’t a good place to wander aimlessly or hide from the boogeyman, especially wrapped in aluminum foil. You could up and die.

(But did you really suffer a deadly heat stroke? Or did aliens just snatch your soul?)

We can imagine the tabloid headlines now:

“439,000 Protesters Mysteriously Vaporized In The Desert.”

“Mob Shot By Super-Secret Laser Weapons Kept At Area 51.”

“Aliens Abduct 439,000 People.”

Or, visitors might also see something overhead they can’t explain. There’s been a lot in the news lately about Navy pilots’ encounters with mysterious objects flying at hypersonic speeds with no discernible engine or exhaust fumes. President Trump has been briefed on UFOs, and a group of Senate lawmakers recently got a classified briefing about these unexplained sightings of what the military calls an “Unmanned Aerial System.”

Just last month, some strange orbs in the daytime sky were reportedly seen near Las Vegas, according to the National UFO Reporting Center database. Someone else reported looking up and seeing “a humongous black shape” in plain sight.

Nevada has a fair share of unexplained aircraft sightings, but it’s several places down on the list of the top states for UFO sightings. But this makes sense. Aliens with Area 51 coordinates stored in their navigation systems aren’t dummies. They’re stealth.

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