It’s the go-home episode of Monday Night Raw, emanated from Boston, as we head into Survivor Series this Sunday!
Let’s get into it!
Becky Lynch opens the show (as she probably should every week, tbh), cutting a promo on Bayley and Shayna Bazler, calling them out, getting that cheap pop by associating her Irish heritage with all of Boston. The Iconics come out to complain to Becky for whatever reason that they aren’t on the Raw Women’s Survivor Series team. Becky is rarin’ for a fight, and challenges them herself (even though she’s supposed to tag with Charlotte Flair later…?). Charlotte then comes out, also upset that she was supposed to tag with Becky later, but at the same time is upset that Becky doesn’t want to tag with her since she’s the captain of Team Raw, and besides, the “powers that be” want them tagging together so they’re going to tag together anyway… Oh, and then Samoa Joe randomly comes out just before an abrupt commercial break…
Yeah, it was as much of a mess as it sounds.
Match #1: The Iconics Vs. Becky Lynch & Charlotte Flair
So we find out that Samoa Joe came out because he’s on commentary with Vic Joseph and Jerry Lawlor since Dio is still on the shelf (Joe even taking a dig at Dio, saying he, Joe, is “more Lesnar proof.” Now that’s a feud I won’t be upset to see). It’s good to see Joe getting screen time while injured, but what a weird way to bring him out.
Anyway, the match is essentially a squash; both Billy Kay and Peyton Royce get a little offence in, but before I know it, Billy Kay taps out to a Figure Eight.
Match Finish: Becky Lynch & Charlotte Flair d. The Iconics (via submission)
Shayna Bazler and her cronies then come to the ring an beat up The Iconics as Charlotte and Becky are heading back up the ramp, so they run back to the ring and chase them into the crowd. Security gets in between to stop Becky and Charlotte, so Becky clocks one of them with a wicked punch. Hell yeah, she’s the best.
Backstage segment: Charly Caruso interviews Zack Ryder & Curt Hawkins ahead of their Raw Tag Team Championship match against the Viking Raiders, but are immediately beaten down by the Authors of Pain.
AJ Styles, Karl Anderson, and Luke Gallows head to the ring, for AJ to cut a promo on the Boston crowd and Umberto Carillo, claiming he’s not worth his time, so Karl Anderson is going to take him on (which I like: beat the minions before you get a shot at the Big Boss).
Match #2: Umberto Carillo Vs. “Hot” Karl Anderson
The OC messes with Umberto to start the match, and before it can get even remotely interesting, the Street Profits come out to even the odds. And we get a commercial break. The match is pretty standard, without any really exciting spots, but AJ referred to Karl Anderson as “Hot” Karl Anderson during his promo, which I ignored but then Joe calls him it too, so I guess it’s a thing? Anyway, Styles and Gallows try to cheat to get Anderson the win, but as he has Carillo in an inside cradle, the Street Profits roll them over to Carillo gets the cover and the Profits stop Gallows from breaking up the pin.
Match Finish: Umberto Carillo d. “Hot” Karl Anderson (via pinfall)
Backstage Segment: We’re back with Charly, and she interviews Seth Rollins who gives yet another bland, uninspired babyface promo wherein he panders to the Boston crowd by invoking the concept of Tom Brady (he doesn’t actually say his name because that would be.. too obvious?) and vows to “burn it down!” For Christ’s sake, end this already.
She also teases that “coming up, we have something you’ll have to see to believe” and then it cuts to a commercial! Oh my god, what could it be??
So we come back from break, and Bobby Lashley and Lana are heading to the ring. Lana then announces she’s filed for divorce from Rusev (is this the surprise that Charly was referring to? That’s not really made clear). Anyway, the crowd is hot with “RUS-EV DAY” chants so say what you want about this storyline, but it’s getting Rusev way over.
Match #3: Bobby Lashley Vs. No Way Jose
Jose literally gets, like, five chops in for offence before Lashley squashes him and makes him pass out with a Full Nelson, and then they make out (… Lana and Lashley, I mean.)
Match Finish: Bobby Lashley d. No Way Jose (via KO)
Match #4: Seth Rollins Vs. Andrade (is Rollins loses, Andrade takes his spot on Team Raw at Survivor Series)
Andrade isn’t wearing his yellow pants, which is great because they look ridiculous. The match starts off with a slower, methodical pace which is well done. As the pace picks up, Zelina Vega gets herself involved, and then gets ejected before Andrade hits him with a before a commercial break.
Rollins takes over on offence and hits Andrade with a (Mauro Ronallo voice) TOPE SUICIDA! gets him back in the ring and tries to hit him with the worst finsher in wrestling, The Stomp, misses, then fails trying to hit the Buckle Bomb.
The Lucha House Party show up to attack Seth Rollins, wearing blue SmackDown tanks that egregious have FOX across the back. Vic Joseph keeps referring to the Lucha House Party as “members of Team SmackDown” as Andrade and Rollins fight them off even though they aren’t on the Survivor Series team. Seth then tells Andrade “we’ll do this again down the road,” as if Rollins just beat him in a tightly-fought match, even though he won by outside DQ… Alright.
Match Finish: Seth d. Andrade (via DQ)
Backstage Segment: Buddy Murphy knocks on Aleister Black’s door to challenge him to a fight, but the time he answers, Murph is gone.
Triple H shows up in a limo.
Match #5: Akira Tozawa Vs. Buddy Murphy
Buddy Murphy is wearing those idiotic dangly shorts, so as usual, with those paired with his haircut, I can’t take him seriously. Take being said, Tozawa gets a lot of offence in during the match, hitting a TOPE SUICIDA and wrestles at a good pace before Murphy wins kind out of nowhere with a Murphy’s Law.
Match Finish: Buddy Murphy d. Akira Tozawa (via pinfall)
We get another one of those weird segments with Erick Rowan speaking directly to the camera as he’s apparently baby-talking what ever’s in that cage he carries around.
After the commercial break, Buddy Murphy is again outside Aleister Black’s locker room, but this time Black comes out to confront him and they just stare at each other.
Match #6: Erick Rowan Vs. Uh, Some Guy with Colourful Hair and Tights
I literally don’t think they say the local talent’s name, but he gets squashed (along with the Singh Brothers, who came out running from R-Truth).
Match Finish: Erick Rowan d. Whatever His Name Was
Backstage Segment: Charly interviews Randy Orton who proclaims that he “doesn’t play well with others!” … Unless, it’s a benefit to him, in which case he does… And apparently the Viking Raiders are looking for a fight, so Orton challenges them with a partner who “will benefit him.” So Zack Ryder & Curt Hawkins are a no-go? Alright.
Match #7: Kevin Owens Vs. Drew McIntyre
Really good match, with some tough bumps and near-falls. Owens takes a hard Fireman Carry onto the ring apron, and McIntyre follows that up with a Deadlift Powerbomb. Owens hits a Frog Splash to a near-fall, then a Pop-Up Powerbomb for another; McIntyre hits a Claimore Kick on Owens after getting his knees up on a Swanton Bomb, but Owens gets his leg on the rope; Owens finally hits a Stunner, but McIntyre gets his leg on the rope. The crowd’s hot with “This is Awesome!” chants, and goddamn, they’re right. Owens hits another Stunner in the middle of the ring, but Triple H’s theme hits and stands at the top of the ramp before a commercial break.
We come back to Triple H and Owens in the ring, with some NXT wrestlers on the outside, so I guess this match is over?
Match Finish: No Contest?
Triple H cuts a pretty good promo, reminding Owens how good he had it in NXT, and how shitty it’s been for him on Raw and SmackDown and how no one cares about him on Raw. Then Raw wrestlers come out, and a melee starts as Undisputed Era comes out of the crowd and attack Owens, which Triple H seems pissed at Adam Cole about. He promised Owens safety, dammit!
Backstage Segment: Charly makes “a huge announcement” that AJ Styles will defend the United States Championship again Umberto Carillo next, and then she interviews him. So was that the announcement she was talking about before?? Well I don’t know, because then she throws to Paul Heyman for “breaking news.”
Heyman essentially does the job of a WWE video package, recapping the Brock Lesnar/Rey Mysterio rivalry, before announcing that the WWE Championship match at Survivor Series will be No Holds Barred.
We’re then back to Charly, who interviews Rey (who gives the rub to Umberto, telling him he’s proud). Before Rey threatens to beat the shit out of Lesnar with a lead pipe at Survivor Series. Rey finishes by saying that it’s all for his son, reminding us that Dominic hasn’t been seen since Lesnar attacked him. I dunno, I bet taking an F5 from Lesnar would suck, but I don’t think it would keep me out for over a month…
Match #8: Asuka Vs. Natalya
Natalya never really gets anything going before Kari Sane distracts Natty on the outside, who then gets kicked in the head and loses to Asuka.
Match Finish: Asuka d. Natayla (via pinfall)
Orton heads down to the ring first, then the Viking Raiders, before Orton’s “mystery partner” is revealed and to the surprise of no one, it’s Ricochet.
Main Event: Raw Tag Team Championship: The Viking Raiders Vs. Randy Orton & Ricochet
The first part of the match cuts to the back and shows some SmackDown wrestlers attacking Raw wrestlers. Ivar gets some good offence in, matching Ricochet’s acrobatics in the ring before hitting a TOPE SUICIDA! Orton answers with a Draping DDT and sets up for an RKO before SmackDown wrestlers attack the ring.
Match Finish: Randy Orton & Ricochet d. The Viking Raiders (via DQ)
The broadcast goes off the air with NXT wrestlers surrounding the ring and mauling The Viking Raiders and Orton & Ricochet before more Raw wrestlers crash the ring, then Triple H announcing that NXT is the “A show” and will prove it at Survivor Series as the NXT wrestlers get the upper-hand. This entire show was one giant schmoz, so it’s fitting that it goes out that way.
This was the go-home show, so did it make me more excited for Sunday? I guess? I dunno, why does it feel like WWE cares more about “brand supremacy” than we do? Oh that’s right, because they do.
On to NXT.