This week’s RAW starts with a nice video about the Military and those lost on this Memorial Day. As always, WWE impresses me with their support of our Military and those who have given their lives so that we may remain free.
There is a very long black screen pause, then to R-Truth, without sound, trashing a merch booth. Then to WWE ‘having technical difficulties’ only to go back to R-Truth completely trashing the booth, but still no audio feed. R-Truth walks away, see Cena’s face on cups and banners, so he trashes a concession booth. R-Truth continues to rant. Then we can hear Cole and King, but video is not with audio. Finally everything is right and Cole talks about R-Truth’s conspiracy theories. Now R-Truth is up in the stands going crazy over fans wearing Cena t-shirts. His mic is working as he verbally attacks a boy who is booing him, then to an older kid who is all in Cena gear. R-Truth’s mic again goes wonky. There’s a whole group of kids in Cena gear. R-Truth asks one of the boys show he’s there with. He’s there with his dad. R-Truth asks about little Jimmy and how big Jimmy has on a Cena shirt too. R-Truth’s mic is still out of whack. He gets right in this guy’s face and he asks, “What’s up?”
R-Truth over the barrier ranting that it’s not about ‘what’s up?’ They boo R-Truth and he says they should boo themselves. Everyone’s conspiring against him. He says he can’t stand little Jimmy, little Jimmy makes him sick.
Cena’s music hits, but it still sounds like the audio is coming through a tin can. R-Truth is seething at Cena in the ring. Cena grabs a mic, looks around, listens to the fans and the ‘Cena’ chants. Cena says, his mic off from video, after a few weeks we get it. He’s mad at everyone, the man is keeping him down, the whole thing’s a conspiracy and everyone’s named Jimmy. News flash, that’s a fantasy world. In reality, R-Truth is off the deep end. What’s wrong with R-Truth?
R-Truth rants about it all being about him, always him. Video and audio align and R-Truth says it’s all these people. It’s also Cena. Cena and Jimmy have been conspiring to keep him down. Since he’s not rapping and dancing, people don’t like him no more. ‘Cena’ chants and R-Truth tells them to shut up, they’re talking.
More “Cena” chants and they fill the place. Cena says these people are not Jimmies, they’re the greatest fans in the world. These people agree with Cena that R-Truth should be in a straightjacket! Cena has no idea why R-Truth feels the way he does, if it’s because of Cena and he wants a match. Same as last week, Cena has no problem knocking some sense into R-Truth. That’s what R-Truth wants. All the Jimmies get to watch R-Truth beat Cena down!
Ding-Ding! Cena says, “Rascal Flatts, what is it? An email?”
Cole over to announce, wants attention. To the podium. And I quote (but his audios goes a bit wonky), “Let’s make this match official. Tonight’s main event we’ll see R-Truth compete against John Cena. However there will be no little Jimmies allowed at ringside.”
R-Truth says he doesn’t like the joke and Cena will get got. R-Truth leaves the ring and heads of the ramp, talking to himself the whole time.
Cole then talks over video of Kharma and how she broke down last week and will talk this week.
King talks about Memorial Day and the start of summer. Cole shows a bunch of old fat guys sunning by an inflatable kiddie pool, Omaha style.
Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler w/ Vickie
Kofi comes bouncing out, enjoying the fans and giving back the energy. Dolph with his returned blond hair and Vickie by his side in a red dress as Cole thanks King for accepting his apology.
They lock up and muscle each other around. Dolph takes Kofi down onto the mat. Kofi back up and reverses the hold and takes Dolph down. King ranks on Vickie’s figure as Cole swoons. Dolph on Kofi with blows as the fans chant for Kofi. Kofi and Dolph muscle, then Kofi takes Dolph down with aside headlock takeover. More strategic moves and Dolph takes Kofi down briefly. Side headlock on Kofi, but he pushes out. Shoulder block to Kofi, but then he leapfrogs over Dolph a number of times, then takes a kick to the gut. Kofi stomped in a corner while the ref counts for Dolph. Vickie actually does look great in that red dress!
Kofi counters Dolph and then whips Dolph. Dolph takes an over-rotated monkey flip. Kofi rushes Dolph in a corner. Dolph moves, so Kofi lands up top. Dolph, one hand on Kofi’s bum, sends Kofi flying outside.
Dolph has Kofi on the mat in a head/shoulder hold. Kofi to his feet, but slammed back to the mat. Dolph drops an elbow on Kofi for two. Chinlock on Kofi as Cole talks about Dolph’s college and high school wrestling. Kofi up and free. They exchange blows. Kofi is whipped, but moves and Dolph eats the corner. Both regroup. A big double chops drops Dolph. Dropkick to Dolph.
They counter back and forth. A kick then a big clothesline to Dolph. Boom drop on Dolph, then Kofi soaks up the fans’ love. Dolph counters TIP. Kofi counters Dolph’s sleeper, then kicks Dolph in the head. Kofi goes up, but Dolph moves. Dolph on Kofi, but Kofi kicks out. Dopl tries to pick Kofi up, but Kofi counters and pins Dolph for two. Kofi tries for his SOS, but Dolph counters into a zig-zag for three.
Winner – Dolph
Vickie is all smiles, claps for Dolph, then into the ring to celebrate with him. Video of the end of the match. Vickie and Dolph celebrate on the ramp. King and Cole continue to talk about Vickie and his figure.
Cole says he doesn’t understand Riley’s attack on Miz. Cole guarantees that he will make Riley apologize to Miz tonight.
Video promo for ‘That’s What I Am’. My copy came in the other day, can’t wait to sit down and watch it.
Ricardo is in the ring announcing for Alberto Del Rio. Alberto comes out in a blue Audi R8. Cole talks about what great friends he is with ADR and how they rode around Omaha all day in it. ADR to the ring, Ricardo holding the ropes for him. Cole and King discuss the accident that happened with Big Show last week.
ADR announces his name, but we know that. We also know what happened last week with Big Show. Video of Kane and Big Show leaning on ADR’s Spider and then pushing Ricardo out of the way. ADR verbally attacked Big Show and Kane. Big Show and Kane lose their Tag Straps through Punk and Ryan cheating. Backstage Kane and Big Show were seething. ADR ran through, slapped Big Show, then fled. When Kane caught up Big Show was half under the car and Ricardo was fleeing the scene.
In the ring ADR says it was an accident. ADR hands the mic to Ricardo to explain, but he does it in Spanish. ADR says a lot of people make mistakes, like Big Show. This is all Big Show’s fault. He brought this on himself. Bad things happen to bad people. Huge heat from the fans. ADR says everyone knows he’s a nice guy. More heat. But business is business. Big Show owes ADR for damaging the car, Ricardo will send the bill. Also, Big Show, get well soon.
Eve and Kelly Kelly are readying to face the Bellas.
Nikki & Brie Bella vs. Eve & Kelly Kelly
The Bellas in the ring in leopard outfits. Eve out in gold and purple, Kelly out in red and white.
Eve locks up with a Bella. Side headlock on Brie, but Eve shoulder blocks her to the mat. Arm drag to Brie, then a sunset flip from Eve for two. Nikki gets involved and Kelly ends up distracting the ref. the Bellas tag back and forth, keeping Eve in the heel corner. Eve pinned for two, then choked in the ropes. The other Bella kicks Eve through the ropes.
Another Bella tag and a front facelock on Eve. Eve out muscles the Bella, flipping her to the mat. Eve tags out. Thesz press on the Bella with blows to her head. Bum slap to the Bella. King talks about a wardrobe malfunction with Kelly as her belt comes flying off during her tilt-a-whirl head scissors. Kelly rubs her bum in the Bella’s face in the corner and follows with a running bulldog. The other Bella breaks the count, but Eve rushes in and removes her from the ring. Kelly nails the Bella with her screeching leg drop for three.
Winner – Eve & Kelly
The Bellas back up the ramp yelling smack at Eve and Kelly. Short video clip of Kharma’s breakdown. Cole again goes off about making Riley apologize to Miz tonight.
King talks about Memorial Day BBQs and it’s back to the old guys grilling out.
Cole in the ring gets huge heat. He talks about Miz and how he’s must see, then how Riley was fired by Miz, but the GM re-signed. Cole says that Riley’s actions last week are comparable to Judas, Benedict Arnold, Wayne Newton and Sammy ‘The Bull’ Gravano! Video of Miz going off on Riley last week, then firing him. Riley took a pie face, then tore Miz apart, right down to his suit!
Riley’s new music plays and he comes out in a suit, sans tie and collar all askew. Riley is smiling, almost giddy. Cole says never in the WWE was there an act of such treachery, such backstabbing! Riley, how could you. Miz was like a father to Riley. Miz protected Riley. Nurtured Riley, helped him grow and took him under his wing, then let him fly. How did Riley repay him? By unmercifully attacking his mentor. Doesn’t Riley know there’s impressionable young women watching all over the world. How does Riley think they were emotionally effected by what Riley did? How was Miz emotionally effected. Cole can tell Riley as Miz is a friend of Cole’s. Miz was hurt by this. Miz was emotionally scarred. Cole doesn’t know if Riley realizes this, but Miz thought of Riley like a brother, a confidant. Riley was Miz’s go to guy, his right hand man. Cole has one question for Riley. How can Riley justify his actions of last week.
Riley says he’s never felt better in his life. Cole says if he was Riley he’s get on his knees and beg Miz for forgiveness. Riley has no idea what Miz is capable of. No idea the type of pain, humiliation, punishment, Riley has no idea!
Riley tells Cole to shut up! Cole has a big mouth, just like Miz. He’s arrogant like Miz. Starting to get a little annoying, just like Miz. Cole says he’s none of those things, neither is Miz! But Riley is – Cole can’t find the words. Finally Cole calls Riley a bastard!
Cole tries to flee, but Riley catches him by the back of his collar, then pushes Cole down. Riley goes off about carrying Miz’s bags, on and on. He pulls Cole up, but then turns into a tackle from Miz. Miz kicks Riley in the head, then screeches at Riley that he made Riley. Miz removes his suit jacket to show a bright pink shirt that looks great on him! Miz reaches for Riley again, but is tackled to the mat. Miz flees, but Riley tackles Miz from behind on the ramp, takes him down. Riley bounces Miz off every barrier, then into the timekeeper’s booth. Riley flies over the barrier, tackling Miz. Riley slides Miz across the announce table, then Miz flees through the stands. Riley back into the ring, seething in Miz’s direction as Cole rants. King tells Cole to shut up. Miz got his and if Cole doesn’t shut up, then he’ll get his. Again!
WWE Rewind – Bret Hart helped Cena and Rey get a victory after feeding Punk a sharpshooter.
CM Punk w/ Mason Ryan vs. Rey Mysterio
Punk to the ring with Ryan in tow. Rey out in black, yellow and blah. A little boy gets Rey’s over mask. Other kids gets head touches from Rey as he heads to the ring.
They talk smack across the ring. Cole talks about James Durbin – from American Idol – and how Durbin wore a CM Punk t-shirt on the AI finale to show his support of his favorite Superstar. Punk on Rey with kicks, then choking him with a foot in a corner. Punk telegraphs and its kicks for it. Head scissors to Punk, then blows on Punk in a corner. Punk slides Rey from the ring, but Rey lands on his feet. As Punk distracts the ref, Ryan slams Rey into a ringpost from the apron.
Punk with Rey in a beautiful submission hold, but Rey wiggled free and hit an arm drag. Punk then counters Rey and slams him to the mat for two. Punk, his legs wrapped around Rey’s neck as Punk screams about Rey never beating him. Elbows to the top of Rey’s head, while still in the hold. Punk pins Rey, but only gets two. Punk reapplies the hold around Rey’s neck. Punk really wrenches the hold in, then more elbows to the top of the head. Punk pins Rey, but Rey somehow and beautifully bridges out. Kick to Punk’s ribs, then his face, but Punk right back on Rey. Rey reverses out of a Punk hold and set Punk up for a 619. Punk moves, so Rey flies out and tackles Punk over announce. Rey in the floor, Punk on the floor behind announce. Ryan stands close to Rey, but doesn’t touch.
Rey slides Punk in, then in off the top with a seated senton, then slingshot cross body on Punk for two. Punk pushes Rey back into a corner, but Rey kicks Punk. Rey rolls through Punk and pins in a beautiful bridging motion. Punk on Rey and pins for two. Punk is frustrated. Punk picks Rey up for GTS, but Rey reverses into a power bomb sending Punk into 619 territory. Rey to run the ropes, but hits Ryan with a drop kick through the ropes. Rey on the apron, skins the cat, but Punk grabs Rey and raises him up for the GTS. Again Rey wiggles around for head scissors, but Punk pushes Rey off. Somehow Rey lands on the mat on both feet! But then Punk kicks Rey in the back of the head and he goes down like a sack of rocks! Punk rolls Rey over and pins for three.
Winner – CM Punk
Ryan into the ring to celebrate with Punk. They leave the ring and celebrate up the ramp while Rey recovers. Video of the highest spots of the match, right down to the kick to the back of Rey’s head to end it all. Punk and Ryan still celebrating on the ramp.
Last week Stone Cold Steve Austin was on Jimmy Fallon pushing Tough Enough. The audience was all sailors and Austin gave them HUGE props. Austin then talks up Tough Enough and how the winner gets a WWE contract. Video clips of the show through the interview clip.
Up next is Kharma.
WWE Slam Of The Week – video of Kharma taking out Maryse, then Eve. 8 Diva Tag Match last week, but before long Kharma came out the ring, but rather than attack, she had an emotional breakdown.
Kharma is in the ring looking totally dazed. She says ever since she was a kid, she had two dreams. The first was to become a WWE Superstar. Everyone said that her standing there in front of them was impossible! She even went out for season 2 of Tough Enough. JR told her that she was too fat to ever be a WWE Diva. She took his words, took them to Japan where she scrubbed the floors of wrestling dojos to earn training to become a wrestling master. She then moved on to every wrestling promotion in every dank stank corner of the world from here to Denmark. Until finally her dream came true. This year WWE made her welcome. The fans love this!
Her other dream is a little more personal. She, like many other girls and women, has always wanted to be a mother. And she will because she is currently with child! Unfortunately for her it’s a high risk pregnancy, so she can’t compete or do anything physical and risk losing her child. But, she will be back and wants the thank all the fans for allowing her to share her dream. She will be back!
The Bellas come out to the ramp. They laugh about her being pregnant. They thought she was just fat. And she’s going to get even bigger. JR was right. Lucky for her she found a guy. Fame does have it’s privileges. Nikki says that guy must have been hooked like a seatbelt. Brie asks if it bugs her that she can’t beat them up. They asked if the baby has ears yet? One says that the baby’s momma is so fat that – Kharma steps toward them and they flee. Kharma says that she hopes in one year they’re still in the WWE, then she has a new dream! Kharma leaves the ring staring through the Bellas. King is disgusted, Cole thought the Bellas were just being honest. At the top of the ramp, Kharma turns and looks at the Bellas who still cower.
King and Cole talk about Obama holding a press conference about Capitol Punishment. Then they go back to that chopped up tape of Obama ‘talking about the PPV.’ King and Cole talk some more. They’ve invited all the big suits in DC for this PPV.
More video of the old guys, this time playing ‘beach’ volleyball with beach balls.
Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne
Swagger out with his pushups on the ramp and cranky look on his face. Video of Evan and Swagger facing off last week, but then Evan getting the upper hand after the bell. Swagger pitched quite the hissy fit. He’s now pitching another one! Weighing 183lbs, Evan out with a smile on his face.
Evan watches Swagger closely, but then eats a big boot. More stomping from Swagger, then he chokes Evan with a knee under the ropes. Swagger with forearms to Evan’s back. Swagger gets Evan up, but somehow they toppled over the top and out. Evan back first into the apron. Evan rolled in, Swagger in after with a huge clothesline. Swagger pins, but Evan kicks out. Swagger does pushups with one hand on Evan’s bum, the other on his upper back. Chinlock on Evan, but he gets free. Swagger kicks, then slams Evan. Swagger drops a foot to Evan’s gut, then preens to heat form the formerly too quiet fans. Slaps to Evan’s head, but Evan comes back with kicks to Swagger’s knee.
Cole talks up Swagger as being an academic. King says Swagger’s an academic from Oklahoma. You put your diploma from Oklahoma on the dash and you can park in handicapped parking spaces. (JR might not like to hear THAT one!)
Evan tries for head scissors, but caught up with a side slam. Swagger yells to get the fans into it. More little slaps to Evan, but he reverses Swagger’s move and rolls Swagger up for three.
Winner – Swagger
Evan flees for his life. Video of Swagger losing the match and having a hissy fit that even DDP would have been proud of back in the day.
Backstage R-Truth is talking to himself as he’s heading for the ring.
Backstage Cena comes upon Ryder. Cena has his strap, Ryder has a belt over his shoulder that has both the FaceBook and Twitter logos on it, showing off his IWC fame.
A great commercial/promo for the Tough Enough finale between Andy and Luke next week.
R-Truth vs. John Cena
R-Truth out to no music, just his new catch phrase. He’s talking to himself the whole way to the ring. Cole and King talk about how the show opened with R-Truth trashing the merch booth and how there was technical difficulty that R-Truth will say was all in the conspiracy against him. Then R-Truth talked to a boy and his father wearing Cena gear. R-Truth was mouthy and nasty to them both. Obviously a plant as the father said, “What’s up?” to R-Truth. This time the audio and video are lined up correctly. In the ring R-Truth’s getting heat and talking smack, off mic, to the fans. Cena out with a smile on his face, runs to the ring and yells out at R-Truth who’s yelling in at Cena. Cena hands over his strap, then heads back to the ramp to hug and pose with a service man in his fatigues. Back to the ring Cena poses for the fans. Off comes the dogtags, then the shirt which flies out to the fans, then Cena’s ready to fight.
They lock up. Side headlock on Cena, but he reverses to an arm bar and R-Truth rolls from the ring to regroup. The fans yell at R-Truth who’s talking to himself. R-Truth back into the ring. Kick to Cena’s gut, elbow to the head, then another knee to the gut. Cena backed into a corner with more kicks. R-Truth is whipped and comes out into a running bulldog. R-Truth leaves the ring to regroup again. R-Truth gets into talking smack with the fans as well. About every Cena shirt he say, R-Truth commented on. Dueling ‘let’s go Cena’ and ‘Cena sucks’ chants fill the arena. Cena sucks it all up.
R-Truth back into the ring after the ref reaches an eight count! R-Truth tries to kick Cena, but Cena catches R-Truth’s foot, then clotheslines R-Truth to the mat. Cena then slams R-Truth in what Cole calls ‘vintage’ John Cena. Five Knuckle Shuffle to R-Truth, then R-Truth flees again! R-Truth is talking to himself out there and getting at fans for their Cena shirts. R-Truth, still in his ‘what’s up’ jeans, returns to the ring. Cena gets R-Truth up, but he gets free and flees the ring again.
R-Truth into the crowd, getting yelled at by everyone, but Cena goes after him. Cena sends R-Truth over the barrier, but then feeds Cena a right hand that about drops him in the laps of fans.
The ref starts counting when R-Truth leaves the ring, but continues the same count for Cena, even though Cena doesn’t leave until about four. The ref gets to ten on R-Truth’s count, even though R-Truth is back in the ring, and Cena is counted out. That makes little to no sense in my book.
Winner – R-Truth via Countout
R-Truth flees up the ramp in excitement over the win. Cena is back in the ring and very confused. R-Truth over to the father and son he spoke to earlier. R-Truth takes the son’s drink. The father isn’t impressed. R-Truth takes a sip of the drink, then throws the drink in the father’s face. R-Truth then runs for his life. Cena then comes over the barrier, looks to where R-Truth went, then spoke to the father, saying how sorry he is about it all. Cena then starts wiping the soda off the father with his arm bands!
Video recap of R-Truth’s soda attack, then fleeing. Back to Cena talking to the father. Cena removes one of his arm backs and slides it up the father’s arm, way up. Out of the blue a little blonde girl gets past security and glombs onto Cena. Slapping his back, holding onto him as much as she could. The camera turns a little to get her out of the shot as much as possible.
Riley (but more pop than heat, he’s pushing his way through this face turn)